Crafting a Perfect Corner of NYC
Hypothetically speaking, who gets the real estate closest to home?
Crafting a Perfect Corner of NYC
I’m a big fan of hypotheicals — from the realistic to the ridiculous. They get your imagination churning, spark convoluted bar conversations, and often reveal something about the way someone thinks — what they value, prioritize, strongly like, or don’t. I’d never hold someone’s hypothetical answers against them — but light roasting of bad takes is definitely on the table.
Sometimes, I worry that I might lean too heavily on nonsensical questioning to fill lulls in conversation. But then again, how else would you get to know someone without asking them, “What Olympic sport do you have the best shot of medaling in?” (Short track speed skating, for me).
Last week, Olivia Weiss wrote a great piece about her dream restaurant pop-ups and collaborations, which got me thinking about my favorite restaurant-related hypotheticals — off-the-wall scenarios that have led to spirited debates and minor arguments amongst friends.
One of my all-time favorite hypotheticals came up while we were sitting on the stoop of my East Village apartment, basking in a late-summer afternoon with a breeze barely stirring the branches of trees along 3rd Street. The East Village felt like the center of the universe — vibrant, a little chaotic, full of new openings and legendary institutions. My roster of cafes, restaurants, bars, and shops in the neighborhood ran deep — but my immediate intersection, 3rd St and 2nd Ave, was shockingly bleak.
The Bean sat prominently on the northeast corner — as someone with strong coffee opinions, I never stepped foot inside. The northwest had a barely serviceable bodega where I’d occasionally purchase ice. The southwest corner was residential. And to the southeast was Pak Punjab Deli, which was always so hilariously swarmed with delivery drivers drinking very milky-looking chai tea that you’d need to shuffle through the crowd to get inside.
That’s when the question hit: “If you could craft a perfect corner of NYC — pick any four businesses and let them open up shop — what would you choose?”
It’s an impossibly hard question with a million ways to go about it. Do you load your corner with an all-star lineup of restaurants? Drop your favorite bar a stone's throw from home? If you pick something too popular, you have to factor in the reality that there’s gonna be a wild line. Do you allocate space for something practical, like a really solid dry cleaner? A great wine shop? The possibilities are truly endless.
Now, there are a few ground rules, because every hypothetical needs some constraints:
Existing New York City businesses only, no resurrections from the past.
The business doesn’t need to fit perfectly in the existing space, but you can’t replace a 500 sq ft bodega with a multi-story Whole Foods.
You can’t modify the business's hours — I want Taqueria Ramirez at 1 am, too, but the trompo stopped spinning 3 hours ago.
Major props if the business currently exists in a corner space, but this is not a necessary characteristic.
One demolition for green space, maximum.
I ran the question by a few friends — Substack writers, creative thinkers, people with great taste and strong opinions — to see what their perfect corners would look like. Here’s what they came back with:
Courtney Presley, Corner Booth
Northwest: Long Island Bar — A perfect street corner for me requires a perfect frozen piña colada nearby. This tried and true bar can also flex for any type of occasion, from dates to outdoor hangs to late night burgers.
Northeast: Shukette — With an extensive menu that’s always changing by the season, I could eat here every single night and never get sick of it. My love for their dips, veggie dishes and soft serve swirls knows no bounds.
Southwest: Poppy’s — For morning coffee runs and pastry pickups, I’ll need Poppy’s in the mix. Plus, they have a frozen section, to-go meals, drinks and pantry items that can service a variety of needs. Their treats make for ideal hostess gifts too.
Southeast: Cherry On Top — Rounding things out with a casual, lovable wine bar that’s as ideal for a solo sip as it is for a large group gathering. Rotating food pop-ups also allows for endless variety.
Reid Webster, Bad Larry’s Pizza
Northwest: Urban Angler — A high-end fly fishing outfitter, 2 floors up from the city street. It's an awesome little retreat from busy and bustling Midtown that reminds me of what I love to do outside of the city. Whether you’re headed somewhere tropical, or bass fishing in Central Park, their guides are always helpful and knowledgeable.
Northeast: Hartley’s — When I'm at Hartley's, I imagine that right outside their front door is the cold, rugged Irish coastline. Sipping Guinness and eating curry fries and Irish cheddar popcorn is my favorite thing to do.
Southwest: Ace’s Pizza — I'm a huge fan of shitty light beer, and Ace’s draft Budweiser is my favorite in the city. They keep super thick mugs in the freezer and when the beer is poured it creates these frosty, frozen edges on your first couple sips. Not to mention the pizza, wings, and collaborations they do.
Southeast: Jongro BBQ — Jongro is one of the first places I visited in NYC, and has remained a favorite since. It's a massive Korean BBQ spot that has been there forever. Great for groups, and so reasonably priced.
Olivia Weiss, right on Franklin
Northwest: Rhodora — Perfect hang in every season; need a glass of chilled red at arms length at all times.
Northeast: Olde Brooklyn Bagel Shoppe — Saved me (and fellow New Yorkers) from many a dismal hangover.
Southwest: Hibino — The most underrated sushi in NYC. Price for quality is unmatched.
Southeast: The Fly — Simple and good. Sexy bar, sexier Caesar salad.
Sam Dart, Sam Dart
Northwest: Super Taste — Any time I’m in the vicinity of Chinatown, Super Taste’s spicy beef noodles and pork and chive dumplings call to me.
Northeast: Abraço — This is a perfect cafe, yes, but also a utility play since they serve excellent Spanish pilsners and Negronis by night. If it were down the block — hell, even a slightly shorter subway ride — I’d probably stop in every day.
Southwest: RPNY Tennis — As an avowed counterpuncher on the court, I don’t break strings much more often than the next guy. So why pick a tiny Midtown tennis shop as part of my perfect block? In order to regularly pester its legendary owner with questions about Andre Agassi’s setup, the perfect lead tape ratio, and other trivia, of course.
Southeast: Tacos El Bronco (Truck) — Initially, I thought it was a no-brainer to include a New York slice in this thought experiment. But after a little more consideration, I realized what I really crave multiple times per week is a rock-solid al pastor taco or three. The Tacos El Bronco truck in Sunset Park does the trick, plus it’s open late.
I thought about this impossibly hard prompt too! Maybe for too long. I came up with about 10 different versions of the Flood’s perfect corner, but here’s where we landed:
Lorenzo Bongiovanni, Mr. Flood’s Party
Northwest: F&F Pizzeria — I’m currently living in a pizza dead zone and would love to fix that. F&F has the best quality-to-wait-time ratio of any slice shop in the city.
Northeast: ACRE — I’d be eating salmon bento boxes for lunch every damn day. Having a purveyor of excellent miso soup nearby is a comforting thought.
Southwest: Rita & Maria — I’m taking Rita & Maria not because it’s my favorite cafe, but becuase it’s the perfect community space. Loungy, slow-paced, peaceful, plenty of seats, laptops allowed, good coffee and pastries, frequent sandwich and farm stand pop-ups. A place to post up.
Southeast: Ha’s Snack Bar — I love the idea of stumbling downstairs and having Anthony whip me up a chili-glazed pork chop and steaming bowl of rice. I recongize that’s not how this works, but we’re dreaming here.
If the hypothetical is working its magic, your mind is likely flooded with ideas for who gets this prime real estate closest to home. Keep thinking on it, and let me know what your corner looks like in the comments: four businesses and maybe an explanation why (or a defense, if you anticipate your left-field answers needing a justification). Also! Let’s see how this poll functionality works — who’s got the best corner in town?
Thanks for being here, thanks for reading. If you haven’t yet, subscribe below and get Flood’s delivered every Sunday.
Guess I'm not sleeping tonight because this quandary will actually be haunting my dreams
I have to vote for myself but I’m deeply obsessed with all of these intersections.