Flood's On Draft [09]
Sorry, Darlings
Maybe I Ordered Wrong?
Or maybe the restaurant just isn’t that good.
I’ve always thought putting the onus on oneself for a restaurant experience going poorly was a strange place to land, and the incorrect conclusion to draw. We tend to give restaurants the benefit of the doubt in most situations. I’m a firm believer that there’s no wrong combination of dishes to order at a great restaurant. Restaurants can have off nights, that’s a fact. But an off night doesn’t turn an excellent restaurant into a shit one — just a slightly less good one, maybe. On the same note, a bad restaurant can’t turn on the jets and perform spectacularly for one night. All this to say, your experience at a restaurant on any given night is probably pretty close to the truth.
I was hearing this phrase, this self-questioning, over and over again — in conversation with friends, scrolling IG. It’s the term that finally got me over the hump, prompting me to try my hand at a bit of “restaurant criticism” after previously sharing nothing but praise for the places and spaces I love the most. It felt like it was time to let it flow — to speak my truth.
That collection of disappointing meals is by far the most popular thing I’ve ever written, and it has resulted in a lot of new faces at Flood’s, which I’m quite stoked about. But I had to wonder why it hit so hard.
11's: Most Disappointing Meals of 2024
It was a stormy night in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Swirling wind pushed around the branches of bare trees. Unrelenting rain poured down from the grey, gloomy skies. These conditions, unpleasant in most si…
Why was discourse on servers boozing behind the bar and ignoring their tables performing better than my glowing notes on wood-beamed ceilings, vintage dishware, and standout roast chickens? Is it because entertainment comes from cruelty? In the same way that humans can’t look away when they pass a car accident? I re-read the piece. I wasn’t cruel — I was fair. I was honest.
Food media seems starved for thoughtful, honest criticism. I want to emphasize those two adjectives. Thoughtful — meaning carefully considered, respectful acknowledgment of both strengths and weaknesses, delivered with empathy and a demonstrated understanding of the broader context. Honest — meaning an unembellished recollection of details, mitigating as much bias as possible, and focusing on the relevant points rather than nit-picking.
Conventional restaurant criticism evolved into something gnarly in the late 2000s with the rise of Yelp and reviews embedded into Google Maps. The power to dictate where we eat quickly shifted into the hands of the customer rather than the professionals. The crowd-sourced, star-rating system grew in popularity, while the single, authoritative voice from the local paper lost its luster. The problem was, and is, that the customer can say whatever the fuck they want on those platforms without repercussions. Generally speaking, Yelp criticism is a fabricated, embellished version of the truth to win appeal on the internet (or in malicious cases, extort a restaurant). There are far more crazy, angry rants than carefully considered discourse. Mix in the contrarians that trash good restaurants to get a rise, and you have a real shit show. It got so bad that saying anything negative about restaurants felt bitchy and whiny. Yelp’s keyboard warriors pushed us to empathize with restaurants.
But now the problem is we’re saturated with puff pieces and senseless “best of” lists. The croissant rip-apart videos aren’t telling us shit. The same restaurants that are complaining about rising costs are pumping dollars into marketing, public relations, and communications budgets. There needs to be some checks and balances — conversations about what’s actually good, not just what’s hot.
I heard your comments. I got your messages. “Thank you for confirming…” “This article completely validated that feeling…” “... This is a form of service to the readers.” “I feel so vindicated…” “This was refreshing…”
Flood’s is a slice of my taste — what I like, and indirectly what I don’t. I have no interest in being an authoritative, single source of truth. I want to be a dependable, trustworthy voice — ideally, one that you prioritize above others, sure. I’m realizing that by opening the door and sharing criticism here and there, I can further build that trust with you all. It’s always going to be subjective — it’ll always be thoughtful and honest.
Recently Added
The newest additions to the Flood’s hit list
Darlings Bloomfield, Ontario
Saddle up cowboys and cowgirls — we’re headed to the pizza ranch. Darlings is the kind of restaurant you’d dream up while you’re stoned out of your silly little mind watching Deadwood reruns. I mean that with the utmost respect — Darlings is novel. Darlings is funky. Darlings is brilliant.
Ride your horse 200 km east of Toronto and you’ll eventually be trekking around “The County” — Prince Edward County, commonly known as PEC. That’s where you’ll find Darlings, a Western-themed, Italian American restaurant (read that back).
Through the side door of the converted farmhouse is a candle-lit, wood-clad dining room that overlooks a humble cow pasture. You’re met with the smell of pies baking in the limestone oven, the twang of softly played Western music, and the tip of a cap from the owner who’ll graciously lead you to your seat. What follows, culinarily, is miraculous. Simple, rustic, homey food that’s executed so well, it’s worth galloping out to the boondocks for. Stracciatella and focaccia are both made in-house. There’s a standout Caesar with pristine white anchovies. Tender calamari is nestled into a roasted chili marinara sauce. Darlings’ pizza — crunchy, straight as an arrow, with a pillowy crust — is a virtuoso-level creation. The bare tomato pie with thinly slivered garlic could go head-to-head with any pizza, anywhere. The mainstay pastas are simple and stellar: Gnocchi in a tangy Pomodoro with ricotta and rigatoni in a smooth, redder-than-pink vodka sauce. Cavatelli with sweet sausage and clams was off-menu, on special — and that it was.
Gem Home Nolita, New York
Surely some eyes will roll with this statement, but I genuinely believe New York needed a third space like this. A place to double fist a passable pour of SEY drip coffee and a glass of seabuckthorn turmeric elixir. A place to settle into the quiet luxury that is a hand-crafted wooden table with lots of expensive little objects and art around it. A place with an email sign-up widget on their website for “Soap Vessel Updates.”
Gem Home is the latest, but surely not last, project from Flynn McGarry. It’s a tastefully rustic home goods store, specialty grocer, and café. The room is mellow — the lights are appropriately low, and the sweeping downtempo ambient music is at a volume no louder than a murmur. The long, communal tables toward the back of the space are ideal for cracking open a journal, engaging in small talk if you feel up for it, or focusing on your bowl of braised kombu soup if you don’t. Everything in here is nice. Moroccan rugs are stylishly hung on the walls. The linens are archival. There’s lots of exotic produce in the cooler, most of which I’ve never heard of (case in point: limequats). Is the concept pretentious? I’d say so. Expensive? A bit. But it’s leveled out by the overarching welcoming feeling you get from the space and staff, with absolutely no pressure to buy a ceramic catchall or a kilo of roasting chestnuts. Their prepackaged smoked trout dip plays super well at a dinner party, though — that you should buy. Gem Home is an undeniably lovely place to bide some time — and at $18 (the cost of the aforementioned double-fisted beverages after tax and tip) it’s a fair price for a sliver of comfortable space in a neighborhood this bustling.
Best Dishes
Some of the best things I ate (or drank) recently
Beef Momos — Loga’s Corner Toronto, Ontario
Last time I was in Toronto, I got a friendly tip from a 6-lifer telling me I needed to get deeper into the food scene. “Cut the popular bullshit, go get yourself some Tibetan food, man.” You don’t need to tell me twice. On a snowy Boxing Day, I ventured into Parkdale and found shelter in the warm embrace of Loga’s Corner. My favorite question at a counter service spot like this is “What do you want me to try?” A styrofoam box was handed to me moments later along with a few sauces — one spicy-looking, one soy-looking, the third creamy. I popped open the lid, peeled back the foil, and was met with the beautiful sight of 10 steamed beef momos — crescent-shaped, indented with little ridges, glistening in a way that indicates a chew is imminent. Past that plump dumpling shell is a juicy pellet of majestically spiced minced beef. I was fairly warned by Loga’s website/Facebook page that it was gonna be a juicy encounter, but this was a serious gusher. The 10-pack was demolished. I re-upped on 10 more for the road.
Carrot Salad with Rau Ram — Ha’s Snack Bar Lower East Side, New York
I’ve had a lot of great dishes from Ha’s Dac Biet over the years. Classics — pâté mam chung. Creatives — grilled pork belly with peanut liver sauce. But the dishes I find myself thinking about the most are their deceptively simple, straightforward ones — and usually, that means perfectly dressed vegetables. This carrot salad, layered with citrusy, peppery rau ram was a big winner in that category. Perhaps it’s a riff on carottes râpées, which you’d find at many Parisian bistros; but Ha’s version drapes grated carrots over Vietnamese coriander, all of which is soaked in a fish sauce-forward dressing that’s balanced and brightened with lime. When you dive in with chopsticks, each soppy heap of veg drips with dressing. It’s a crunchy and refreshing dish that lands between their richer courses, from tamarind butter razor clams to leeks oeuf mayonnaise.
Flood’s Hi-Fi
Artists and records for moving and grooving
Jamie xx’s In Waves tour flowed through money-making Manhattan last week. The dancefloor was electric — disoriently dark, illuminated only by strobes, and the glow of a spinning disco ball. I enjoyed the hell out of Jamie’s set, a masterful selection of house, high bpm techno, slower atmospheric moments, and plenty of disco. Phone usage was kept to a minimum — except for a few necessary Shazams:
Risco Connection — Ain’t No Stopping Us Now
Gorgeous reggae disco tune with steel drums galore. When those strings kick in… ascension begins.
Mazzy Star — Into Dust - Four Tet Remix
Twinkly, sensual, but still pretty upbeat. Those Mazzy vocals are special. Within the set, it severed as a soft, steady lead-in to “Waited All Night.” Not out yet so here’s a Soundcloud rip.
Dan Hartman — Relight My Fire - 12” Disco Remix
My favorite moment of the whole show – pure disco euphoria. I’ve determined this a song that’s impossible not to dance to.
Revelacion — The House of the Rising Sun - Edit
Jamie is a known sampling legend. He played out this song, the primary sample for “Life,” before transitioning into the high-energy ripper. This cover of “The House of the Rising Sun” from French disco group Revelacion (powered by the legend Mark Cerrone’s drums) delivers the horns in a big way.
Jamie xx — Girl
I didn’t Shazam this one, but you should listen to it anyway.
Up Next
Places on my radar
Sunn’s Lower East Side, New York — I'm doing my best to let Sunny’s new opening simmer. But these cold winter days call for banchan. I’ll be there soon.
Angel Jackson Heights, Queens — Supposedly the best no-frills Indian food around town. The heart yearns for lamb biryani.
Dame Greenwich Village, New York — Fish & chips mate!! Simple as that.
redder-than-pink vodka sauce is my weakness though
we love the honesty here!!! keep it coming!